Why Strong Men Matter (And Why Women Are Paying the Price When They’re Missing)

Bonnie Tyler said it best in the first line of "Holding Out For A Hero" which reads, "Where did all the good men go?"

Now, let me start by saying this before anyone gets offended or defensive.

This is not a “men vs women” conversation.
It’s a society vs reality one.

Because while we’ve never been more connected, more informed, or more “progressive”…
We’ve also never been more anxious, fractured, lonely or unsafe.

And one uncomfortable truth keeps bubbling up:

When strong male role models disappear, women feel it first.

Absent Fathers Don’t Just Affect Boys.
They Affect Women Too.

More boys than ever are growing up without present fathers.

Not necessarily bad men.
Not always monsters.
Just… missing.
(Even though, the majority of absent fathers are spineless a-holes that should be held accountable).

And when boys don’t grow up watching men:

• regulate emotions

• take responsibility

• protect without controlling

• lead without ego

they don’t magically figure it out on their own.

The gap gets filled instead by:

• porn masquerading as intimacy

• algorithms pretending to be mentors

• confidence without character

And eventually, women end up dating, working with, or raising men who were never shown what healthy masculinity actually looks like.

That’s not empowerment.
That’s exhaustion.

Masculinity Isn’t the Problem. Immaturity Is.

Somewhere along the line, masculinity became a dirty word.

“Too strong.”
“Too dominant.”
“Too intimidating.”

But here’s the truth most women already know in their hearts:

Masculinity itself isn’t toxic.

What people call “toxic masculinity” is far more accurately:

• narcissism

• entitlement

• emotional immaturity

• insecurity wrapped in bravado

Strong men don’t dominate women.
They make women feel safe.

They don’t silence.
They listen.

They don’t seek power.
They carry responsibility.

And when that model disappears, women are left navigating relationships with men who look grown… but aren’t.

A Society Raised on Attention, Not Accountability

We’ve created a culture where:

• opinions outrank experience

• feelings outrank facts

• visibility outranks integrity

And it shows.

Kindness is now “suspicious”.
Courage is “problematic”.
Helping a stranger is filmed instead of done.

Many women feel it daily:

• walking alone

• dating cautiously

• carrying emotional labour

• being the steady one while others unravel

Strong men didn’t create this chaos.

Their absence did.

Strength Is Not Aggression. It’s Safety.

Real strength is calm under pressure.
Boundaries without cruelty.
Protection without ownership.

Strong men don’t need to shout.
They don’t need to prove.
They don’t need to perform.

They show up.

And when women don’t grow up seeing that, they’re told to:

• “lower standards”

• “be more understanding”

• “stop expecting so much”

But wanting a man who is emotionally regulated, accountable and present isn’t unrealistic.

It’s biological common sense.

So What Can Actually Change?

We’re not rewinding the world.
We’re not fixing institutions overnight.
And we’re definitely not unplugging social media.

But change doesn’t start with systems.
It starts with standards.

Women choosing:

• calm over chaos

• consistency over charisma

• strength over swagger

And encouraging boys, sons, partners and friends to become men of substance, not followers of noise.

Strong men don’t threaten women’s independence.
They support it.

And a society with more of them would feel a hell of a lot safer for everyone.

Wouldn't you agree?